41. I'm with the husband on this one. What happened to sentiment? Or is it all about greed again? Everytime the wind changes direction do you "upgrade" your ring again? And keep upgrading each time you "change?" I don't agree with the concept of changing rings like you change cars. A wedding ring is truly a symbol, but it at least symbolizes what you'd hope is a time-tested marriage. Not saying that people shouldn't get rings/jewelry, but I think that people should keep the same wedding ring that they had when they got married. It supposedly has symbolic meaning as opposed to just trying to keep up with the "the times" or your personal greed. Two thumbs up to your husband!!!!

Posted at 4:02PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Don

42. When I got engaged in 1958, my husband gave me a white gold quarter carat solitaire diamond ring and the wedding band was plain white gold. He said that he'd get me a larger one when he could (we were so young..I was 18. I said "NO, I NEVER WANT TO CHANGE THIS BECAUSE YOU GAVE IT TO ME". Well, about 2 years later he got a beautiful 3/4 ols mine cut from his grandmother and asked if I'd like to have it. I jumped at it. So fickle am I. The big style in 59 was the sputnik type style. Why I liked it is now beyond me. Over the years (his being in the business) I've had many "new" wedding rings, each of which I said I'd never change. Now I have the 3 diamond ring (yesterday, today and tomorrow). The center stone is 2 carats and each side stone is 1 carat each. I've had it for about 5 years or so and still love it. I began with white gold and changed to yellow gold and back to white. I found that white is my favorite. My daughters followed in my footsteps. I was lucky that I could get it wholesale although still very expensive. I don't see anything wrong with changing if your husband is ok with the idea. That's the way I feel. I still have my original wedding band that I was married in. I am sentimental about that. For those of you who just want a change but can't afford or don't want to enlarge your present stone, you can always have it remounted. It will give you a fresh up to date look without changing the original stone. Just a thought. If your husband is hurt by your wanting to change from the original there are many fingers to wear new diamond rings on. Just enjoy what you have and above all wear it. Don't keep it in a safe deposit box unless it's something you need to do while travelling to certain countries. Last but not least, insure your jewelry. All but sentiment can be replaced. ENJOY whatwver you're wearing. Size isn't the only thing that counts.

Posted at 4:09PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Sylvia

43. I think it's shallow and tasteless to "upgrade" an engagement ring. The ring is a symbol of the love and committment your then-fiance' felt for you when he asked you to marry him. It should have a great deal of sentimental value -- moreso than any dollar value -- attached. "Upgrading" to a fancier piece of jewelry should not mean as much as preserving that piece of your special history as a couple, and it certainly should not be important enough to even risk hurting your husband's feelings. Though he might not voice it, I can't imagine any man not being hurt by his wife trading off the engagement ring he gave her when he proposed! Is it really so important to have a bigger diamond or a more expensive ring/status symbol? There is no reason you can't purchase a diamond fashion ring of any size you want, so why does it have to replace a ring that should be a cherished symbol of your love and the union between you and your husband -- something to look back on together for the rest of your lives with priceless memories attached and, indeed, something to perhaps pass on to a future generation. It's no longer an "engagement ring" if you buy it years later to reflect your "current taste." To think of an engagement ring as just another piece of jewelry takes away any significance from it whatsoever. This kind of disposeable, trade-up, impress the Jones's mentality is a sad commentary on relationships in our society but probably to be expected at a time when 50% of all marriages end with people "upgrading" to newer-model partners. You may as well auction the ring off on eBay to the highest bidder then go buy whatever expensive trinket you'd rather have to refelct your "status and taste" at this time in your life -- maybe a big-screen TV, a jaccuzzi, or new car.......I feel bad for husbands whose wives don't appreciate the love and symbolism attached to the original engagement ring, however humble, and choose to toss away something so important, given to them out of love, for a bigger, shinier bobble. I'm sure the jewelers love this concept though......and, if they can make the practice of "upgrading engagement rings" somehow acceptable, they should reap a tidy profit from selling multiple "engagement rings" to a society that disregards true value for something a little newer, shinier, costlier, and more apt to impress......In summary, if your engagement ring isn't good enough for you anymore and means nothing to you, then, by all means, cast it aside, and buy yourself something pretty, regarldess of how it makes your husband feel. After all, it is all about you, right?

Posted at 4:11PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Donna

44. If you consult with your husband and you BOTH agree that the ring needs upgrading and you BOTH can afford it, go ahead. If one of you disagrees on either point, though, sorry; don't touch that ring. Its special to your husband too, not just you.

Posted at 4:06PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Ericband

45. Oh, come on Dave, I know by reading about some on the upgrade comments that they seem a little superficial, but it is a bit rediculous to act as if by upgrading a ring there is no difference if the man upgraded the wife. Ring vs wife here! I def don't put my husband on the same level as my engagement ring nor does he put me on the same level. I am a very sentimental person and if I were to ever consider an upgrade I would want my hubby to have it done and use the current diamonds I already have and just add to it. That's how I feel about our marriage anyway...there is the original symbol of commitment, then even more has been added through out our marriage of 16 yrs and 5 children and just the life experiences we've been through even so far. The ring should never become more important than the relationship though! Be careful...pinkie ;)

Posted at 4:09PM on Jul 5th 2008 by pinkie

46.


When I got engaged in 1958, my husband gave me a white gold quarter
carat solitaire diamond ring and the wedding band was plain white
gold. He said that he'd get me a larger one when he could (we were so
young..I was 18. I said "NO, I NEVER WANT TO CHANGE THIS BECAUSE YOU
GAVE IT TO ME". Well, about 2 years later he got a beautiful 3/4 ols
mine cut from his grandmother and asked if I'd like to have it. I
jumped at it. So fickle am I. The big style in 59 was the sputnik
type style. Why I liked it is now beyond me. Over the years (his
being in the business) I've had many "new" wedding rings, each of
which I said I'd never change. Now I have the 3 diamond ring
(yesterday, today and tomorrow). The center stone is 2 carats and
each side stone is 1 carat each. I've had it for about 5 years or so
and still love it. I began with white gold and changed to yellow gold
and back to white. I found that white is my favorite. My daughters
followed in my footsteps. I was lucky that I could get it wholesale
although still very expensive. I don't see anything wrong with
changing if your husband is ok with the idea. That's the way I feel.
I still have my original wedding band that I was married in. I am
sentimental about that. For those of you who just want a change but
can't afford or don't want to enlarge your present stone, you can
always have it remounted. It will give you a fresh up to date look
without changing the original stone. Just a thought. If your husband
is hurt by your wanting to change from the original there are many
fingers to wear new diamond rings on. Just enjoy what you have and
above all wear it. Don't keep it in a safe deposit box unless it's
something you need to do while travelling to certain countries. Last
but not least, insure your jewelry. All but sentiment can be
replaced. ENJOY whatwver you're wearing. Size isn't the only thing
that counts.

Posted at 4:12PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Sylvia

47. My husband left me after 20 years of marriage. I gave my wedding ring & engagement ring to my daughter. Even though I could have used the money by selling them, and even though our marriage meant nothing to him, it still meant something to me -- being a good wife and mother. If you have a good husband, don't hurt him. Honor him by wearing the ring with which he asked you to be his partner in life. It's time that we go back to honoring our commitments & cherishing the love of a good man. No matter how small, just remember ladies -- he gave you that ring with his love. Don't hurt a good man -- his heart is much more rare and precious than a larger "rock."

Posted at 4:14PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Elise

48. Then why bother with the ring IN THE FIRST PLACE? Don't give me that "sentiment" stuff. I agree with the husband. If you don't think the ring is "good enough" for you now, it becomes relegated to just another piece of jewelry.

Posted at 4:18PM on Jul 5th 2008 by david chartrand

49. I don't believe that your ring should be upgraded. It is a sentimental token meant to be worn for your entire marriage and hopefully pass down to your kids.
However, what I do notice is the total lack of common sense here.
As I have no intention of changing my ring I made sure that I made it clear from the start that I wanted a big ring. I got a gorgeous 4ct and it will be handed down. Just ask girls!

Posted at 4:24PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Jane

50. I agree with your husband. Your wedding and engagement ring isn't just another piece of jewelry. It is a symbol of his love and commitment. I don't think it should be replaced.

Posted at 4:33PM on Jul 5th 2008 by forthephishers

51. Start off with a good ring and you don't need to upgrade. If you want a piece that makes a statement, buy your wedding ring and pay on time for a statement ring. Family heirlooms are rare today because the kids haven't a clue about how to wait. Every one wants immediate gratification. This, most times, means nothing of real value. My husband knew when were getting married, knew what I wanted, put the $30,000.00 ring on a lay away plan and the day of the wedding put it on my hand with my wedding band to replace my 1K engagement ring. This is not impossible for most people to achieve. All it takes is planning and patience. You end up with 3 wonderful rings, just what you want and no payments after the honeymoon.

Posted at 5:49PM on Jul 5th 2008 by tyche1234

52. i think upgrading is ok. i love the ring i have now. my husband would've loved for me to have a huge rock when we got engaged, but we couldn't afford it. i thought that 1.25 carots was beautiful and would be fine. sentimentally, i love the design of my ring because we picked it together and it's very "classic and timeless". however, if by our 10th anniversary, we are able to afford an upgrade, i would love to be able to have the bigger "diamond" my husband wanted to get me when we were younger but couldn't afford. i would probably still put it in the same setting or style i have now. and i guarantee my husband will love an upgrade too. he has a beautiful band with 6 .25 carrot princess cut diamonds in a channel setting. he has big hands and i'm sure he'll argue that he should get 2 more .25 carrot diamonds in his band or bigger diamonds altogether!

Posted at 4:35PM on Jul 5th 2008 by jackie

53. My husband and I have upgraded my ring several times in our 19 years of marriage. It has grown from .25 carat to .5, then 1 carat, 1.5 and finally about 3 years ago we took the solitaire 1.5 carat diamond and reset it with bagettes and 6 tiny diamonds on each side. We feel that while we have had fun with the increases, it is also a good investment.

Posted at 4:38PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Susan

54. I am sure, that there are ladies out there, that feel it is necessary to keep up with the "Jones's". But that wedding ring, should stay as is. Let him buy you another ring, but the wedding rings should stay, as first given.

Posted at 5:05PM on Jul 7th 2008 by Judi

55. Harrumph. My husband gave me a diamond that he could afford 40 years ago. When his brother proposed to his wife, she was given a much larger stone. I was told by my mother-in-law not to wear my ring because it was an embarassment. And so after 2 resets, one as a ring, one as a pendant, I asked my husband for a bigger stone on our 25th anniversary. I got it, but it is too big to wear on a regular basis and stays in the lockbox.
I ultimately got the original ring reset as a past, present, future ring with my studs as the side stones, which is and forever will be my favorite ring. I showed it to my mother-in-law who in her infinite wisdom said, I've always disliked that diamond, it was too small.
Get your rings reset or upgraded Ladies. But, remember, it is you who must like the ring, the setting, the diamond. Do NOT let anyone make the decisions for you.

Posted at 4:46PM on Jul 5th 2008 by LWG

56. I've been married 2.5 years. I love my orginal diamond, he bought me just what I wanted but before the wedding I had the setting changed. On our one year wedding anniversary he bought me a new diamond and band. Now I have a third bridal set! I cherish my orginal diamond and the meaning but I do enjoy wearing my other sets for certain occasions. So if a woman wants more than one ring or sets, I say "go ahead and enjoy!!"

Posted at 4:51PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Casey

57. Super Size It

The American Way.....Never enough!

Posted at 4:54PM on Jul 5th 2008 by ABK

58. When my husband and I were thinking about tying the knot I told him that diamonds were so plain. Every married girl had one and I wanted something different. My husband told me that "Diamonds are forever" which is true. As our first compromise he searched until he found a blue diamond. What a beautiful testimony to our life together - then and now. I wouldn't change it for the world. I do beleive that this should be a personal choice for each couple - not woman. Each case is different.

Posted at 4:57PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Tina Columbine

59. Dear "Upgrade Ladies"... I do so hope that you are all still in favor of "upgrading" when he upgrades you with someone glitzier and more glamorous because it would be more in keeping with "whom he has become". If the ring is nothing more than a status symbol to you I would not be willing to bet on your long term chances of a successful marriage.

Posted at 4:56PM on Jul 5th 2008 by An Old "Boomer"

60. At our wedding the vows were, "With THIS ring, I thee wed."

It was not, "With this ring we're gonna start living together until I/we can afford something bigger that you can flash at your girlfriends, your sister, your momma, or you co-workers. Until then, it is just temporary, though I hope our marriage is permanent. Or, lasts at least until the next jewelry sale at the mall."

Posted at 5:10PM on Jul 5th 2008 by been there