61. Upgrade? Why buy a piece of compressed carbon (the fourth most abundant element on earth) to begin with? I have more respect for my wife, and she more sense, than to waste money on a DeBeers marketing ploy. I'd feel rather foolish buying a small piece of compressed carbon having a highly trumped up value (try reselling the stone and you'll find this out) in the American engagement stone market. Since when did DeBeers determine what constitutes sentiment between two people?

Posted at 5:19PM on Jul 5th 2008 by John

62. OH MAN, CAN I ADDRESS THIS ISSUE!!! I lived with my guy for 6 years before we got engaged. Many times he bragged about the "connections" he had and would eventually get me a THREE CARAT STONE. Well, the time came and he came home with a .80 carat stone... flawless, but 8/10th of a carat. I was freaked because of what he had promised... so, I mustered everything I could, and made him go back and get a BIGGER STONE. Actually, I went with him. Was it horrible of me to do that? Maybe, but he DID promise and not deliver. Now, 20 years later, we are split up and he is dead and I am glad I held out for a bigger stone. I traded in the ring for diamond studs and am glad I stood up to him.

Don't make promises you can't keep!!!

Posted at 5:20PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Carol

63. After 37 years I still get compliments on the ring my husband had made for me, two roses intertwined with a 1/3 carat diamond centered in each rose. I inherited my grandmother's and mother's rings and had a "bling" ring and necklace made, but only wear them on very specal occasions. It's not what you wear on your hand, but what's in your heart.

Posted at 5:21PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Kris

64. Even if the ring is not as large as it could be now, it is a symbol of when you first got engaged & your love when you were starting out together. I think it is tacky to want to upgrade it even if your financial situation improves over the years. There are other presents that can be given throughout the years. But to replace your engagement ring, to me means you care more about material objects and to show off than the man you married.

Posted at 5:25PM on Jul 5th 2008 by S

65. As long as both are okay with it, go for it.

Posted at 5:27PM on Jul 5th 2008 by mehernandez

66. This is a different take on the above. My mother-in-law offered my husband his deceased father's ring(not orginal wedding one).Her request was that if he did not want to have the ring for himself, he should have the diamond put in a setting for me to replace my small one that was all we could afford when we were married. He did that, and I have a very unusual setting and receive many compliments on my ring. I did not want to trade in or put my original diamond in a box, so had that placed in a setting for a necklace, surrounded by our three children's birthstones.
This solution made everyone happy and I so appreciated my mother-in-law giving this to me.

Posted at 7:31PM on Jul 5th 2008 by mea

67. I'm shocked at the lack of respect being shown to husbands here. In the original article, the woman's husband let her know that he did not want to buy her another diamond ring. That should be the end of the story. Gifts are determined by the giver, not by the recipient.

Being married to someone does not mean you don't have to be gracious to them. In fact, if you want your marriage to last, it should mean that you go out of yoru way to be gentle and respectful of their feelings.

If my husband were to surprise me with an "upgraded" ring--though he won't, because the one I have now is an heirloom from my family and that can't be bought--I would accept it with thanks. I might even drop a hint that I would like one, if in fact I did. But I would never demand one, and I would never badger him to buy me ANYTHING as a gift.

Some fiscal decisions should be made together as man and wife. A new roof, a washing machine, a new car... But gifts are the sole province of the giver. The ONLY appropriate response from the recipient is gratitude.

Posted at 5:31PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Sarah

68. My husband picked my ring out for me 19 years ago, and questioned what I would like before making the choice he could afford. I loved it then, and still do today. I've been fortunate that he's purchased finer pieces of jewelry for me since. Although he will ask my opinion before he makes a significant purchase, he always likes the element of surprise, as do I. He has suggested I could wear some of my finer pieces as my new wedding/engagement ring, but I prefer my original. There is something to be said for the sentimental value of the ring, and the memories that the special moments of one's engagement and wedding hold. If I had to give up all of the finer pieces of jewelry I've received since, I would, in order to keep my original.

Posted at 4:23PM on Jul 14th 2008 by s.

69. My husband passed away 25 years ago, and I got a new setting for my engagement ring. It was platinum, and after over 50 years of everyday wear, the platinum wore down. It was old fashioned, so I wanted something new and different. I don't wear it often now, because the gold setting is soft, and the diamond loosens and spins around when I touch it. I've tightened it twice, and with everyday wear, it loosens again. That's not good. Now, I regretted the upgrade, I guess my choice of setting was wrong.

Posted at 5:37PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Dottie

70. Upgrade the ring, if you can and you wish. Ignore the uprgrade wife comments until they become quid pro quo! I have a weddding band that has sentimental value, but I sure ugraded the engagement ring when I was able.

Posted at 5:36PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Toni

71. It's absolutely ok to upgrade. We did at 5 years - not only did a get a better, bigger ring, I also got a new band (both rings have 5 diamonds on them, varying in size) and we are already planning for our 10th in 2 years to have another 5 diamond band made to go on the other side. After that we will focus on replacing the center stone from 1 to 2 kts. As they say your ring should be equal to 3 months salary, when you're first starting out many can't always afford that, but over time your earnings grow, so it's just natural to upgrade to something more fitting to your current lifestyle.

Posted at 5:40PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Angi

72. As we do better (hopefully), don't we get better homes, cars, boats, motorcycles, clothes, etc.? Why not your engagement ring?

Posted at 5:40PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Sylvia R.

73. Start off with a good ring and you don't need to upgrade. If you want
a piece that makes a statement, buy your wedding ring and pay on time
for a statement ring. Family heirlooms are rare today because the
kids haven't a clue about how to wait. Every one wants immediate
gratification. This, most times, means nothing of real value. My
husband knew when were getting married, knew what I wanted, put the
$30,000.00 ring on a lay away plan and the day of the wedding put it
on my hand with my wedding band to replace my 1K engagement ring.
This is not impossible for most people to achieve. All it takes is
planning and patience. You end up with 3 wonderful rings, just what
you want and no payments after the honeymoon.

Posted at 5:51PM on Jul 5th 2008 by tyche1234

74. The engagement ring that I currently ware and addore does not even have a diamond in it. We looked at diamonds and while a 1carat with excellent quality costs $5,000, I gaged at the cost and while my finace was eager to purchase the ring of my dreams. I told him that it was to much money considering the fact that the gasoline prices have risen as well as the general cost of living.

He presented me with a beautiful Irish Chaladah ring done in gold and I love it more than any dimond ring. We saved the money that we would have put on the ring and are going to use it for a down payment on a small home.

He says that when the economy gets better or when the jewlers has a massive sale he would like to purchase the ring for me. It's sweet that he feels he has to do this as a show of his economic status as a bread winner, but I love him rich or poor. But I don't wish to put him in the poor house for a pice of jewlery.

-love my Irishman

Posted at 10:14PM on Jul 7th 2008 by Corey

75. My hubby, unbeknown to me, took my 3 carat diamond
and surprised me by up grading to a 6 carat stone
several years ago. It's a good thing it was in
the safe, and I don't wear my rings everyday.
If i had found the 3 carat missing I would have
died. It all worked out though, and was I ever surprised. When we were married 29+ yrs. ago, I had no engagement ring. I got my first 3 carat after 15 years. Rings mean nothing. LOVE IS EVERYTHING!

Posted at 5:54PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Mia wHITE

76. I want to puke hearing what some of these women have to say about wanting a BIGGER diamond and upgrading 3 times in 5 years, because that's all that will make them happy. These husbands should dump their superficial wives. The engagement ring is only given once and given out of love. When happens if you have ugly kids? Do you just leave them up on a hill to die and keep trying for a better looking one? I guess you put the love aside for vanity then.

Posted at 6:13PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Patricia

77. I loved my original .50 carat diamond solitaire. It was a good quality gem and always passed twice a year inspections. As we approached our 50th anniversary, the ring was wearing thin, becoming too small for my arthritic finger, and lo and behold, the jeweler detected two small flaws in the diamond. These were verified by another gemologist. My husband suggested a trade-up; I selected a one-carat Leo solitaire, and for Christmas he added a two-diamond one-carat tw. enhancer. I'm extremely happy with it. I still mostly wear just my simple gold wedding band, though, for every day.

Posted at 6:24PM on Jul 5th 2008 by lilygene

78. In my opinion, I agree with the husband here. I think it would be hurtful to your spouse to insist on "upgrading" your engagement ring. Surely I'm not the only sentimental person here. Even if the poor guy could only afford a chip of diamond when you were engaged, it only makes the ring that much sweeter. Anyone who can honestly look at their husband and say basically "this ring is no longer good enough" is a very sad individual indeed. I know that sounds a little bit ugly to say but not half as bad as letting your husband think that his efforts are not good enough or appreciated. On the other hand if your husband wants to buy you a ring for another occassion, then just leave it at that. An engagement ring however is irreplacable. I myself would not allow my husband to purchase an engagement ring as I think it's silly to spend thousands on a little rock. Instead we took a fabulous trip. So I traded a rock for some "rockin'" memories. lol. but as stated before this is only my opinion and we all know what those are like ;)

Posted at 6:31PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Maranda

79. My husband and I will be celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary this month. I do not want to upgrade my diamond but I would like to give the diamond to my son so that he can reset it to give to his girlfriend as an engagement ring. I think it would be nice to have and I hope it will become a tradition when there son becomes engaged. I don't feel the ring makes the marriage it is just a symbol of commitment.

Posted at 6:16PM on Jul 5th 2008 by tinangels

80. This might be a way out. When I got married 25 years ago my ring size was 4 1/2. I can squeeze my wedding ring on but I need Vaseline to remove it. Currently, I wear a ring size 5 1/4. Like most women, my fingers have "grown" over the years and, like most other middle aged women, I now own SEVERAL wedding rings. Furthermore, my original ring doesn't look very good on my hand anymore. It's just too tiny! I still love its beautiful organic shape and so sometimes I loop a slender chain through it and wear it as a necklace.

Maybe you will be lucky and never experience the need to have your ring sized in order to continue wearing it. However, even if you remain the same weight as the day you were married, your knuckles are likely to get larger.

In case what I've written appears to be coldly pragmatic, I will admit, slightly embarrassedly, that for me things like wedding rings acquire a soulfulness and I keep them forever.

Posted at 6:34PM on Jul 5th 2008 by elle